In retrospect its clear we would end up like this – Mowgli away, tirelessly dragging himself around a foreign city to keep his family clothed and fed while on the other side of the world I wake and cast a shameful glance at the stranger in bed beside me.
We found it. Marital rock bottom.
There are excuses and guilt and a long line of errors that led us to this point and I’d like to say the blame is shared but the truth is, it is not.
It’s my husband’s fault.
OK he didn’t actually tell me to go this far, He didn’t say the words, but he had been encouraging the leap for some time. My memories of the last year are peppered with his subtle hints.
What if…have you thought about it? You might enjoy…
I shot him down, every time believe me. I was a firm “NO” a staunch “are you crazy?”
Then, after months of badgering, I gave an inch. I agreed to go to one of “those places”.
We’ll just look. He said. Test the waters…It’s ok to touch, everyone’s doing it….
It wasn’t long after that I caved. The pressure was too great. All those beautiful faces, ready and willing to help, to bring ease to your life.
My very own personal assistant. That’s what I told myself.
Don’t look at me like that. You would have done the same.
Besides, there were rules. You don’t bring a stranger into your home lightly. This would be a strictly business relationship. There would be no fooling around.
And then Mowgli went away, hinting once again,
Open yourself up…just see…you might surprise yourself…
It’s appalling how un-disgusted I was at the idea. It’s shocking how quickly I fell. Suddenly the seedy world of late nights and sneaking around was my reality.
And then, our ugly situation took a horrific turn.
Cover the children’s eyes…
I came home and found my husband in our bed with my new love in his arms.
Oh the rage. The blinding emotion.
I exploded with fury. How could he?
This was beyond tolerable.
That computer was MINE.
Furthermore, the TV in the other room was perfectly capable of airing Netflix. He didn’t have to take this road.
I’d like to say we’re working on things. I’d like to say we’ve abandon our wicked ways to rebuild our marriage.
But the truth is…
Don’t look at me like that. It’s Netflix… on a Surface Pro…in bed…
Hey at least we’re doing it together now.